Hey, Bretisimus.. wanted to let you know what the deal with your site was. Jarred accidentially found it when troubleshooting kevlar conflicting on MAC addresses. Unfortunately, Bob and Shane were standing there when he found the site. Jarred told them basically that it was your business, and he didn't want to hear anything about it again. i.e. it's not to be a topic of discussion, and that it's your deal. He definitely didn't tell them, and I think he feels like shit for the fact that they were standing there.

Jarred called me mainly because he knew that I'd been friends with you for quite a while, and he didn't really know what to do.. he wants to be supportive, but he really doesn't know how. He was trying to figure it out.. should he talk to you, should he just drop it, or what..

I was planning on talking to you about it when I got back to Tulsa next week, mainly to tell you all of this stuff. I just don't want you feeling like nobody supports you, because that definitely isn't the case. I also know that if you're anything like me, you've probably been spending the last day or so wondering exactly who knew about it, and what conclusions they jumped to.

Here's the summary

1) The list of folks who know is: me, Jarred, Shane, and Bob. (I think we're all in agreement that if life had a do-over button, we'd use it to remove at least the last two folks from the list.. Jarred didn't, and wouldn't have told them, but they were standing there when he found the site).

2) Jarred flat out told Bob and Shane that it wasn't to be discussed. No little inside jokes, no looks, no winks, no nothing. I think Bob understands that, and I think Shane understands that as well.

3) It doesn't bother me, and if I can help in any way, I will. I've considered you my friend for quite a while now, and I'm not about to walk away from that just because of this or anything else.

4) Jarred feels the same way as I do. We spent a couple hours the other night just talking about this, basically trying to figure out how to let you know that we're there if you need us, and that it's okay. I think he generally has strong views on everything (politics, abortion, sandwiches, religion), but he has even stronger views on friendship, and he genuinely wants to help you in any way he can.

I feel awful for you having to go through this (wondering what conclusions people will come to, and who all is talking about it), because this is one of those areas of your life that probably generates enough worry on its own without having to worry about everyone you work with.

You've been my friend for a long time now, and I wouldn't let something like this get in the way of that. I only want you to be happy, and I think that you dealing with this head-on in your life is the way to go. This branch of psychology is still in the "black arts" phase (and if you ask me, most psychology tends to end up in that category as well), but you should realize that it's definitely not a bad thing, and that it's just how you are. You should live your life however makes you happiest.

If I have anything to say about this, it's that you should live your life however makes you happiest. I seriously doubt you'll hear about this topic in the office, and if you do, please let me know immediately. It's not something that you should have to worry about, and it's too serious and personal of a topic to have to deal with in a work environment.

It's okay, we all love you, so don't worry. If you need anything at all, or just want to talk about it, just let me know.

- Jeff